Wandering

"Wandering"

Wandering eyes keep me
I can't be the sort of prisoner you call home
but wandering souls, they have me.

"You're so hardcore" I said
Your face turned from flesh to hot coals
Pushing my shoulder with your clumsy hand

I believe you loved me that day
Between the days that lasted of rain
and the coldest of winter nights

I think I loved you too
But those wandering, a grip held
I didn't want to give up my "freedom"

"You're so hardcore" I said
A tear streamed down your cheek
I believe that was the day you realized

I was no longer an anchor
'nor your sea
but the ship that wandered from your heart

                                    -J.Lajoie

Sometimes I get like this

Another whiney-ass post, just for you.

I try to stay positive about everything... money, friends, work, love...
But then I have nights like these where I just get down. More and more of my friends and family are getting into relationships or getting married and here I am typing this post, alone. The upside is that I get to focus my time on me, but damn it I am sick of me. Doesn't everyone? You work on yourself for so long, and I realize there is always room for improvement, but sometimes you really need to start seeing results.. because after awhile you just want to give up. I work my ass off to provide for my son, educate myself, and be healthy... I just feel like I have nothing to show for it thus far.
I'll be over this mood in the morning, I tell myself this every time I get into a sad mood... and I always wake up feeling better, which is good. So I don't worry too much. It is just so hard to believe I am meant for more when I don't see at least some kind of microscopic result. Perhaps it is my character that has changed that I should be happy about.... but that comes with aging and experiences, and there are people much younger than me that have everything that I want. Damn it. We can't chalk all this love shit up to experience, that is a lie that I like to tell myself. Something to sooth the ache of why I work so hard to be a better person.

What else is there left to say?

A little bit of Jessica in your life

Now that I have a month free of no classes, I might actually keep up with posting more. But then again, I could get lazy and not do anything. Welp, guess you'll have to stayed tuned and see....

Things I am excited for:

• Autumn
• School
• Apple picking
• Fairs
• Not sweating me ass off
• Making new friends
• Pumpkin spice coffee
• Hay rides
• Halloween
• Making caramel apples
• Annoying my son
  
  

That is all I got in my head today, cheers!

My new favorite poet

“What was it like to love him? Asked Gratitude.

It was like being exhumed, I answered, and brought to life in a flash of brilliance.

What was it like to be loved in return? Asked Joy.

It was like being seen after a perpetual darkness, I replied. To be heard after a lifetime of silence.

What was it like to lose him? Asked Sorrow. There was a long pause before I responded:

It was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me—said all at once.”
         -Lang Leav

My newest addition

Ladies and gentleman, I present to you: Neptune

Agree to disagree

ermahgerd

I haven't posted in awhile.


Cheers!