Well then, that did nothing.

Some days I feel like an idiot and I will never learn from my mistakes, others I feel like a genius.

Today was a mixture of the former and the latter.

The future makes me anxious.

Hiding out is way more fun

My entire life is that awkward stage where you are attracted to anything that is a douche bag.

I had entered myself back into the dating scene, and am now going back into hiding. Damn it, people are too much work. Friends are much easier. The|End.

Rhetorical

"Rhetorical"

Romance and its subtlety was never something I understood,
as if I was born missing the gene to understand love
I pick up hints here and there
but the big picture is lost on me.
What is the exact difference between love
and caring deeply for someone?
Are the people we care about the ones we actually love?
Or the ones we think we love
just an idea of what we think love is
If the former is the case,
and we trust our friends with our lives
then why are we setting ourselves up for failure?
And out of all the things for me to love,
why is loving you the hardest?
                     -J.Lajoie

"Try to pretend that I never even knew your name
'cause everything you are disgusts me
Too bad I can't turn back time
So I wouldn't be here
what I'd give for you to disappear
so tell me girly how's your edge?

You've got nothing better to do
I know why you can't see straight
I thought you were better than this,  but you're just like everyone else"

Pseudo understanding

"Pseudo understanding"

You once told me you loved me
and all that mattered in the world was us
but it didn't quite sit right with me
I loved you too
and the more I loved you
the more I cared about everything
if only just fragments of myself
enjoyed each day to their fullest.
You once told me you didn't love me
and that you wanted to care more about the world
but I still loved you
if only by some pseudo understanding
your care for the world generated my pain
and all the days that followed
I hated progressively more.
You once told her she was the love of your life
and she was all that mattered in the world
yet I still love you
and nothing matters anymore
                    -J.Lajoie

Read you

"Read You"

I pretend you are my favorite poem
everyday I read you a hundred times over
smiling,
questioning,
sobbing,
your word play wraps around
drenching me in your expressions
and I won't lie,
I'll still read you everyday
until I can read between your lines
and understand your every quip
because I find it hard to imagine
getting bored of someone like you,
losing someone like you,
hurting someone like you,
and when I can distinguish
between each and every rhyme
I'm going to linger,
over the greatest piece of art,
I have ever had the pleasure reading.
                      -J.Lajoie

Picture post

My friend did my hair and make-up last week and I forgot to post pictures on here. Basically, I used to do my hair in the pinup style a lot, but then I got lazy. Seeing myself all done up again makes me want to do my make-up like this all the time again. But, I am still pretty lazy. Anyways, this post is dedicated to pictures and what not.

These are my tattoos, hopefully I can start affording to finish up my left arm, for I am going to do a full sleeve of the planets and solar system things.