You and me, we're broken

"You and me, we're broken"

He walked over carrying his cold shoulder
I'm well aware of your presence,
the kind that pushes people away
The kind of feelings that scream, "I won't let you in"
I avoid eye contact,
Please notice me.

I start multitasking, like I usually do
Avoiding any type of interaction,
you make me nervous
Lighting my cigarette, holding my coffee, zipping up my bag
I pull out things from my pockets,
pretending my attention is going to my phone.

I can feel your eyes on me
My cheeks start to burn
My mouth runs dry and I take a sip of my coffee,
sucking up any strength I have in my being
I look up and smile, "Hi"
Please talk to me,
I like your voice.

My Fingers start shaking,
I notice this and put my cigarette to my lips
I feel like you are reading me,
My every move is like an open book
You walk away.

I talk to friends
Avoid looking at you
The corners of my eyes start to hurt,
they ache with wanting to see you
Damn you eyes for making me weak

I give in
I look at your feet as they shuffle,
going from one foot to the other, impatient?
You laugh with friends,
I watch your smile fade
Your eyes,
your eyes seem to be filled with lessons,
each heart break and hurtle
I want to know you.

Looking at my phone, time to go
I sigh, maybe tomorrow
I'll muster up the courage,
but not today
Today I walk away with my cold shoulder,
Hiding my lesson filled eyes,
working on a less faded smile
But not today.