It is so much easier for all the students that are younger than me that go to college and can keep busy when they get home for winter or summer breaks. They have their dorm rooms that they stay in while school is in session, and then when the school breaks come they can go see their friends and family that they haven't seen in awhile. Then there is the population of students, life myself, that don't have a dorm room and are single parents. During school breaks life is practically the same as before with the exception of going to class and doing homework. I tell ya though, I would much rather be doing homework right now than sitting here bored out of my gourd, praying that my car gets fixed soon. I haven't hung out with a friend in......months. My boyfriend is kept busy in Vermont, seeing all his friends and family. While I am going insane here waiting for him to text me back. Since he has gone home we have barely talked and I feel like I am on a serious melt down. For the past three days I haven't done anything fun. I've worked, sat in my room, and wrapped presents. The highlight of my life right now is work, I can't wait to work so I can have actual human contact.
I feel like no one understands. When other people don't have cars I've always gone out of my way to help them or hang out with them because I know how it feels. Other people I know that still don't have cars have friends that offer to take them places and/or pick them up to hang out. I don't have that, my parents give me rides to work...the end. What am I suppose to do with myself. I understand it is no one's problem but my own to keep busy and find things to do, but why does everyone else get it so easy? Why is every day a constant struggle for me? I've worked hard for everything I own since I was fourteen years old, and what do I have to show for it?
My son is always keeping me from falling apart and now he is at his father's house until Christmas morning. I just miss being young, I miss being able to hang out with friends and keeping busy. I miss not caring if my boyfriend doesn't text me back within ten minutes. Then maybe I wouldn't feel like he doesn't care about me right now, at least not like he use to. I remember when we first started dating he'd text me all the time, even while with friends, it didn't matter. Now I'm lucky if I can get five texts out of him. I just want to go back to where it all started falling apart and repair it. I'm tired of feeling like this, like I'm all alone in this.
I feel like no one understands. When other people don't have cars I've always gone out of my way to help them or hang out with them because I know how it feels. Other people I know that still don't have cars have friends that offer to take them places and/or pick them up to hang out. I don't have that, my parents give me rides to work...the end. What am I suppose to do with myself. I understand it is no one's problem but my own to keep busy and find things to do, but why does everyone else get it so easy? Why is every day a constant struggle for me? I've worked hard for everything I own since I was fourteen years old, and what do I have to show for it?
My son is always keeping me from falling apart and now he is at his father's house until Christmas morning. I just miss being young, I miss being able to hang out with friends and keeping busy. I miss not caring if my boyfriend doesn't text me back within ten minutes. Then maybe I wouldn't feel like he doesn't care about me right now, at least not like he use to. I remember when we first started dating he'd text me all the time, even while with friends, it didn't matter. Now I'm lucky if I can get five texts out of him. I just want to go back to where it all started falling apart and repair it. I'm tired of feeling like this, like I'm all alone in this.
