Willing

"Willing"

Breathe.
1, 2, 3... deep breath in.
Now let it out.

I'm willing to calm my storm
this raging of thunder inside of me
I'm willing to catch my words
these bolts of lightning that twist
like knives in fallen souls
before they purge your ears with violence.
I was always willing to sacrifice
myself for you, what's mine is yours
I'm yours...your not mine
My will to keep you, served purpose
for only myself.
All this time I thought I was selfless
but selfish was my willingness
to push and give my world to you
and you didn't want it.
You didn't want it...you didn't want me.
I'm willing to throw attempts, blue prints, plans...
shallow love,
for you to give me just one look
one mere glimpse at your heart.
And these are the precise reasons why you
...never can.

                 -J. Lajoie