Just some advice

"You shouldn't go around fixing people and give up pieces of yourself to make someone else whole

 You can’t be a proper friend to someone, be there to support them, be anything, if you don’t care for yourself first. I speak from experience with this, and it’s a lesson that I have learned the hard way. 

There is nothing noble about thoughtless self-sacrifice.

There is nothing wrong with putting your own needs first, and making sure that you’re okay before you offer anything of yourself.

Giving and giving of yourself only hurts you, and the damage can take a very, very long time to start trying to repair. "

This is actually a mixture of things I have found online from not just one particular author, but I found them all relevant. 

Wandering

"Wandering"

Wandering eyes keep me
I can't be the sort of prisoner you call home
but wandering souls, they have me.

"You're so hardcore" I said
Your face turned from flesh to hot coals
Pushing my shoulder with your clumsy hand

I believe you loved me that day
Between the days that lasted of rain
and the coldest of winter nights

I think I loved you too
But those wandering, a grip held
I didn't want to give up my "freedom"

"You're so hardcore" I said
A tear streamed down your cheek
I believe that was the day you realized

I was no longer an anchor
'nor your sea
but the ship that wandered from your heart

                                    -J.Lajoie

Sometimes I get like this

Another whiney-ass post, just for you.

I try to stay positive about everything... money, friends, work, love...
But then I have nights like these where I just get down. More and more of my friends and family are getting into relationships or getting married and here I am typing this post, alone. The upside is that I get to focus my time on me, but damn it I am sick of me. Doesn't everyone? You work on yourself for so long, and I realize there is always room for improvement, but sometimes you really need to start seeing results.. because after awhile you just want to give up. I work my ass off to provide for my son, educate myself, and be healthy... I just feel like I have nothing to show for it thus far.
I'll be over this mood in the morning, I tell myself this every time I get into a sad mood... and I always wake up feeling better, which is good. So I don't worry too much. It is just so hard to believe I am meant for more when I don't see at least some kind of microscopic result. Perhaps it is my character that has changed that I should be happy about.... but that comes with aging and experiences, and there are people much younger than me that have everything that I want. Damn it. We can't chalk all this love shit up to experience, that is a lie that I like to tell myself. Something to sooth the ache of why I work so hard to be a better person.

What else is there left to say?

A little bit of Jessica in your life

Now that I have a month free of no classes, I might actually keep up with posting more. But then again, I could get lazy and not do anything. Welp, guess you'll have to stayed tuned and see....

Things I am excited for:

• Autumn
• School
• Apple picking
• Fairs
• Not sweating me ass off
• Making new friends
• Pumpkin spice coffee
• Hay rides
• Halloween
• Making caramel apples
• Annoying my son
  
  

That is all I got in my head today, cheers!

My new favorite poet

“What was it like to love him? Asked Gratitude.

It was like being exhumed, I answered, and brought to life in a flash of brilliance.

What was it like to be loved in return? Asked Joy.

It was like being seen after a perpetual darkness, I replied. To be heard after a lifetime of silence.

What was it like to lose him? Asked Sorrow. There was a long pause before I responded:

It was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me—said all at once.”
         -Lang Leav

My newest addition

Ladies and gentleman, I present to you: Neptune