Another whiney-ass post, just for you.
I try to stay positive about everything... money, friends, work, love...
But then I have nights like these where I just get down. More and more of my friends and family are getting into relationships or getting married and here I am typing this post, alone. The upside is that I get to focus my time on me, but damn it I am sick of me. Doesn't everyone? You work on yourself for so long, and I realize there is always room for improvement, but sometimes you really need to start seeing results.. because after awhile you just want to give up. I work my ass off to provide for my son, educate myself, and be healthy... I just feel like I have nothing to show for it thus far.
I'll be over this mood in the morning, I tell myself this every time I get into a sad mood... and I always wake up feeling better, which is good. So I don't worry too much. It is just so hard to believe I am meant for more when I don't see at least some kind of microscopic result. Perhaps it is my character that has changed that I should be happy about.... but that comes with aging and experiences, and there are people much younger than me that have everything that I want. Damn it. We can't chalk all this love shit up to experience, that is a lie that I like to tell myself. Something to sooth the ache of why I work so hard to be a better person.
What else is there left to say?
I try to stay positive about everything... money, friends, work, love...
But then I have nights like these where I just get down. More and more of my friends and family are getting into relationships or getting married and here I am typing this post, alone. The upside is that I get to focus my time on me, but damn it I am sick of me. Doesn't everyone? You work on yourself for so long, and I realize there is always room for improvement, but sometimes you really need to start seeing results.. because after awhile you just want to give up. I work my ass off to provide for my son, educate myself, and be healthy... I just feel like I have nothing to show for it thus far.
I'll be over this mood in the morning, I tell myself this every time I get into a sad mood... and I always wake up feeling better, which is good. So I don't worry too much. It is just so hard to believe I am meant for more when I don't see at least some kind of microscopic result. Perhaps it is my character that has changed that I should be happy about.... but that comes with aging and experiences, and there are people much younger than me that have everything that I want. Damn it. We can't chalk all this love shit up to experience, that is a lie that I like to tell myself. Something to sooth the ache of why I work so hard to be a better person.
What else is there left to say?
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