Deserts need rain too

"Deserts need rain too"

If love is like a growing flower
and each new bud an achievement unlocked
then my life is like a drought
with no keys to the the clouds
blooming vines try to help
suggesting new tactics, new clouds
but for the life of me
I could never figure out this rain dance
                            -J.Lajoie

That's normal

"That's normal"

You are a serpent, strangling my hopes
Speaking in tongues, we revolve around one another.
With my emotional frailty and your unwillingness to fold
We might as well be toxic fumes
You reminded me of some of my favorite books
People look at you differently when you cry reading "Green Eggs and Ham"
I need to start reading new books.

        -J.Lajoie

Ponder.

I have been thinking a lot about wanting to move...
Not just move to a new home, but some where far... like Ireland or Australia. I know it sounds drastic, but I feel like I would enjoy it there. None the less, I know I couldn't actually live in these far away places. My son's father would have my neck if I took Mikey across the globe with me.

         I do, however, want to travel. Before I get married and settle down. I want to visit Ireland, Scotland, London, and Australia. I am going to put these on my bucket list. And I will visit each of these places. Who knows, one of them could even be my honeymoon vacation after I get married (one can only hope) one day.

                                       I hope I get to do all the things I've wanted to do. I wanted to learn how to play guitar when I was a kid, but my parents aren't musically inclined and couldn't afford lessons... or a guitar. I wanted to learn how to snowboard, but my parents didn't do that stuff... and again couldn't afford to pay for me to snowboard. Among countless other things I have wanted to try. Well, being that I will be 26 on January 30th, I have been learning how to play guitar and today I went snowboarding for the first time ever. I am sore in places I didn't even know could get sore, but I am proud of myself. I have surpassed my parents knowledge of things, and it didn't cost me anything but gas money to get there. The guitar however was $80.00 with a case, I digress... I know that I will never hold my son, or future children back from things. I do realize 26 isn't that old, but these are things are should have learned young. I know I can't blame everything on my parents, but a little help from them at that time in my life would have probably pushed me to work harder when I was a kid. Perhaps if I had these activities to keep myself busy as a kid or teenager, I wouldn't have dropped out of school. Who knows, can't turn back time. I am beyond happy with how my personality turned out, so my parents must have done something right? If I can be selfish about anything, I hope my son gets my personality.

Bartender, I'll have another.

I've really had it with people lately. My emotions are set to "fuck all".

I hate liars with a fiery passion. Don't sit there and tell me you aren't looking for a relationship for a while; that you would like to stay single for at least 6 months. Then 2 weeks later get into a relationship. Really? You could have just told me straight up that you weren't interested in dating me, that all you wanted was to use me for an emotional and sexual head rest. Now you aren't even talking to me. I thought I made it clear that first and foremost we were friends.... but apparently when you get into a relationship you stop talking to your friends. Cute. I'm glad I didn't get into anything serious with such an immature prick, such as yourself. You are the type of guy you warned me about, interesting how the terms "liar and asshole" hit so close to home with you. I am disgusted and  irrefutably all - fucking - set with you. Enjoy your two month relationship.

Also, the car I was going to buy got sold as soon as I drove into the parking lot to go test drive it. I am winning this week.

Typically named for your pleasure

To quit smoking (again) is a bitch. I want to stab people, eat everything in sight, and clean. Fuck life right now. ( I am exaggerating of course ). 

Come and get it

"Come and get it"


Fragments of myself fade
everyone I have loved can have a portion,
one for you, the scared little boy
another for you, the serial dater
with each a personal triumph
a fear or circumstance over come
well why not just give one to you,
the eye wanderer,
and here's some for you, the cheater
you can all procure chips of me
every lie, hidden agenda, and fake smile
sure, just take it all
I didn't need those scraps anyway
So to all new comers,
Go head, come get a piece of me.
                          -J.Lajoie