Work is starting to deteriorate me. Everyday I wake up and I am like..oh gee golly another day of work..wooo!
I know I must sound like a lazy fuck when I say this but, I would rather go to school than work. I honestly can not wait until school starts up again. I feel exhausted having to work nine hour shifts each day. Now understand, at Dunkin' Donuts I use to work like ten to fifteen hour shifts.. so I know a nine hour shift is easy.
I feel like maybe I am just trying to get the childhood I lost by starting work at fourteen years old, and then dropping out of school at sixteen. I finally get to do what I was suppose to do. I want that relaxation of school. Like I said, I know I sound lazy but I can't help how I feel. I felt free because I was doing what I wanted to do, learning what I wanted to learn. I am free to go to the bathroom without raising my hand like a child. At work I can not leave my position until someone comes to cover me. Some times I have to stand in the same spot for more than three hours straight. I make good money at Lowe's which is the main reason I am not quitting.... I just hope I last the summer without getting depressed about it. It's sad to get depressed at work. I don't want to live the rest of my life working at places that make me doubt my abilities or my self worth.
Another thing, I was thinking about changing my major. I am not sure I am cut out for psychology. I was thinking maybe leaning for towards the medical field. My other career choice would be a X-Ray Tech.
I am going to do one more semester of psychology though, if I do well then I will stay in that field. If I do horrible again than I am going to do X-Ray Tech.
I feel like I will forever be in debt. Every time I get close to getting out of debt, I lose my job and get fucked over again. Everyone around me gets to go out and do something fun like going to the movies, mini golfing, amusement park, beach, etc... I can't do those things because I simply can not afford them. Even if I did receive child support for my son I wouldn't be able to do anything like that. People keep telling me that I can do those things...but I literally can not. I do not have the money, my bills wait long enough for me to pay them... I can't put them off just because I want to go have fun. I just hate money now. When I get it I don't want to lose it. Even though my paycheck is basically gone before I can even cash it. I know everyone is having financial trouble these days. So I can't be all poor me poor me.... but sometimes I just have enough.
I know I must sound like a lazy fuck when I say this but, I would rather go to school than work. I honestly can not wait until school starts up again. I feel exhausted having to work nine hour shifts each day. Now understand, at Dunkin' Donuts I use to work like ten to fifteen hour shifts.. so I know a nine hour shift is easy.
I feel like maybe I am just trying to get the childhood I lost by starting work at fourteen years old, and then dropping out of school at sixteen. I finally get to do what I was suppose to do. I want that relaxation of school. Like I said, I know I sound lazy but I can't help how I feel. I felt free because I was doing what I wanted to do, learning what I wanted to learn. I am free to go to the bathroom without raising my hand like a child. At work I can not leave my position until someone comes to cover me. Some times I have to stand in the same spot for more than three hours straight. I make good money at Lowe's which is the main reason I am not quitting.... I just hope I last the summer without getting depressed about it. It's sad to get depressed at work. I don't want to live the rest of my life working at places that make me doubt my abilities or my self worth.
Another thing, I was thinking about changing my major. I am not sure I am cut out for psychology. I was thinking maybe leaning for towards the medical field. My other career choice would be a X-Ray Tech.
I am going to do one more semester of psychology though, if I do well then I will stay in that field. If I do horrible again than I am going to do X-Ray Tech.
I feel like I will forever be in debt. Every time I get close to getting out of debt, I lose my job and get fucked over again. Everyone around me gets to go out and do something fun like going to the movies, mini golfing, amusement park, beach, etc... I can't do those things because I simply can not afford them. Even if I did receive child support for my son I wouldn't be able to do anything like that. People keep telling me that I can do those things...but I literally can not. I do not have the money, my bills wait long enough for me to pay them... I can't put them off just because I want to go have fun. I just hate money now. When I get it I don't want to lose it. Even though my paycheck is basically gone before I can even cash it. I know everyone is having financial trouble these days. So I can't be all poor me poor me.... but sometimes I just have enough.
It seems like you have got alot of stuff going on!
ReplyDeleteAnd i was kinda surprised to read that you have a son.
are you a single mom?
Yes. Though I do have a boyfriend. He is just not the father of my son.
ReplyDeleteThat is complicated. Im 20, and I live with my parents. Im dependent on them for everything. They still take me shopping.
ReplyDeleteThen there is somebody like you who got independent at an early age. It's the culture I live in. I cant live alone, by getting a place of my own. Society wont permit it.
I figure our situations have their ups and downs. We both have good that comes from our situations and bad, that's what I believe anyway.
ReplyDeleteWell I can tell you that you are not alone in not being able to go out because you can't afford it... Ryan and I watch all these people going out to dinner, movies, fairs, picnics, anything really. While we work, work, work, work, school, work, and on our days off... we sit here at our apartment. It's depressing. =/
ReplyDeleteAnd I deff don't think you sound lazy when it comes to working at Lowes... I have been working both jobs and I thought the VMA position would be a great chance for me to grow... I have been severely let down. I cannot complain enough about how retarded it is there. The communication between the staff is ridiculous and because nobody understands me, not personality wise, with anything I say or try explaining I have learned nothing. I am talked down to by a few of the higher ups and honestly I am sick of dealing with it. The atmosphere is SO uptight. I actually feel like a little kid with a baby sitter. At the end of every shift you have to sign into this tracking website and write down everything you did so the big boss man can justify you working there. I hate the feeling of having tabs kept on me. I have gotten so sick of that job and finding the motivation to actually go to it is non existent. I feel bad saying this but I am glad next week is my last week. I will still have my mentor job, which I LOVE. But yea... I wish I could just go to school and nothing else. Life is so much easier when you are happy. And that VMA position DOES NOT make me happy. lol.