On a spontaneous whim I decided to take summer classes, which means I will be in Spanish III in the Spring. I know it doesn't sounds too exciting, but I am so beside myself! I also am pretty sure I can not wait for this summer to be over. I hate winter, but love Fall too much.
In other news, I saw an old friend a few days ago and he mentioned something that bothered me. See, we were talking about how things were going and what not, and I had mentioned that a bunch of my friends got into new relationships so I wasn't expecting to see them for at least three months because of the whole "honeymoon faze" that couples go through. So far every one of my friends I have ever had has done this, so I expect nothing less from future friends. I digress, he then went on to say, "So how about you? Are you seeing someone, I mean, since I haven't seen you in ages...." And I was just like, well shit... No, I have been single for the past ten months. I went on with, "I just tend to enjoy my alone time, you know how I am.. I am all around New Hampshire one minute, and then I fall off the face of the Earth the next." We just kind of smiled and changed the subject. Well, now that I have rambled on, the whole point to my agitation was that I feel like a pretty shitty friend. All this time I thought my friends just kind of went on with their lives and left me to find new friends... when really, I disappear. I mean, with the exception of friends who get into new relationships, I tend to be the one who just gets into new hobbies or school things which in turn I start getting to know more people and basically stop keeping in touch with my older friends. I don't do this on purpose, but it is just how I operate I suppose. I get tired of the same shit, and move on. I like change. But, I am going to try an hold on to the people I have now. The friends I have accumulated while attending NHTI are the most amazing people I have ever met in my entire life. They are always there for me, and never let me down. I am going to try hard to not let them down either.... and now I will stop being all lovey and gooey.
Truth be told, I have learned more about myself in the past ten months, than I have learned in the past twenty-six years. I feel as though it is an appropriate observation or hypothesis to say that being single has helped me a lot. I have grown so much as an individual, and becoming more the person I've always wanted to be. Someone I like and can be proud of.
In other news, I saw an old friend a few days ago and he mentioned something that bothered me. See, we were talking about how things were going and what not, and I had mentioned that a bunch of my friends got into new relationships so I wasn't expecting to see them for at least three months because of the whole "honeymoon faze" that couples go through. So far every one of my friends I have ever had has done this, so I expect nothing less from future friends. I digress, he then went on to say, "So how about you? Are you seeing someone, I mean, since I haven't seen you in ages...." And I was just like, well shit... No, I have been single for the past ten months. I went on with, "I just tend to enjoy my alone time, you know how I am.. I am all around New Hampshire one minute, and then I fall off the face of the Earth the next." We just kind of smiled and changed the subject. Well, now that I have rambled on, the whole point to my agitation was that I feel like a pretty shitty friend. All this time I thought my friends just kind of went on with their lives and left me to find new friends... when really, I disappear. I mean, with the exception of friends who get into new relationships, I tend to be the one who just gets into new hobbies or school things which in turn I start getting to know more people and basically stop keeping in touch with my older friends. I don't do this on purpose, but it is just how I operate I suppose. I get tired of the same shit, and move on. I like change. But, I am going to try an hold on to the people I have now. The friends I have accumulated while attending NHTI are the most amazing people I have ever met in my entire life. They are always there for me, and never let me down. I am going to try hard to not let them down either.... and now I will stop being all lovey and gooey.
Hell, I think it is just a condition of life that people come and go on a regular basis. The sooner some leave the better, some you hate to see go. What a trip life is in the context of looking at it from a universal view as I have been doing intently as of late (and quite often throughout my life). We are missing much of the big picture methinks. Being alone helps put the focus on such things, and I too appreciate the relationship reprieve. I don't even want one any longer truth be told, the last one it seems as she was intruding! Whatever, I am enjoying myself and this fine spring.
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting how once we get over the entire "woe is me I am single" disposition, everything in the world starts to make more sense, and you realize the things you really like and really want out of life.
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