Pseudo understanding

"Pseudo understanding"

You once told me you loved me
and all that mattered in the world was us
but it didn't quite sit right with me
I loved you too
and the more I loved you
the more I cared about everything
if only just fragments of myself
enjoyed each day to their fullest.
You once told me you didn't love me
and that you wanted to care more about the world
but I still loved you
if only by some pseudo understanding
your care for the world generated my pain
and all the days that followed
I hated progressively more.
You once told her she was the love of your life
and she was all that mattered in the world
yet I still love you
and nothing matters anymore
                    -J.Lajoie