Sometimes I get into those moments where everything ( in my mind set ) sucks, and today was no different. Though I was thinking and I realized that breaking, destroying, tearing apart ( or any sense of the meaning of words ) things, people, relationships, etc... is so easy. It is incredibly simple to take something once so finely put together and break it down to pieces. Putting everything back together is what takes time. To fix a broken lamp or maybe friendship that has lost its trust... that shit takes time. Time, time, time... that is the big answer to everything. Patience plays a big part in getting your life together.
"I don't know how I got bitter" sounds like a good phrase to say right now. I don't know if it's the ending of relationships ( friendly or romantically ) or perhaps all these bullshit classes I have to retake. Maybe living with my parents and feeling unappreciated. Then there's me never catching a break when it comes to vehicles or bills. But either one of them or cumulatively, I just want it to stop. I want a life I can be proud of. Yes, I am going to school to work toward a better future but right now I feel alone. Obviously with that statement I couldn't be or am not ready to be in a relationship, but I really want to feel that my life is going somewhere. Right now I know I am doing something.. but it doesn't feel like it is going somewhere. I need that sign of momentum to prove that what I am doing is right. I require proof. I am just frustrated.
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